substupid

"There are 10 kinds of people. Those who understand binary, and those who don't."

ARGH, OH THE IRONY.

These are the "419 scams" I've received since my replies. I've sent out nothing yet.

I'm not sure how long my computer will remain "broken with the devils sodomy virus" before I start replying, I'm a bit overwhelmed thinking about replying to all of these, maybe vote in comments on which offer sounds the best and I'll concentrate on that one.

Funny Kid Isnt Sorry About Huge Party Video

Get back to me asap...

WHAT IS HAPPENING YOU DINT CALL YOU DINT MAKE THE PAYMENT GET BACK TO ME ASAP.............
ieatrocks <ieatrocks@hotmail.com> wrote:

Thank you for the information Fakki, what fantastic news!!!

I'm going to have to call these places when they open later today and figure out which one will accept my american express. I've never even heard of DHL are they new?

Unfortunately Fakki, I might not be on email for a while, it seems my husband was looking at some rather unsavoury websights, and now our computer is putting rude images into emails I send out now. I can't see them but I've had several friends descibe them to me and they are incredibly rude. I hope you do not get one with this email.  Can you send along a phone number I can call in case my computer is gone for a couple of weeks while the repairman cleans off foul pictures? I'll be able to check tonight or tomorrow at a friends house for any updates and give you some kind of confirmation of payment with our shipper.

Yours always in Christ,

Ieatr Ocks

From: FAKKI BELLO

Sent: Tuesday, January 08, 2008 1:41 AM

To: ieatrocks@hotmail.com

Subject: Get back to me asap...

Hello,

Thanks for your utmost reply well we have credited your ATM CARD now and it will be delivered to your home address now but we will be needing the dispatching fee, see below for the shipping companies and their prices

Dhl: $750 (5 HOURS DELIVERY)

Fedex$:590 (15 HOURS DELIVERY)

Ups: $420 (TWO DAYS DELIVERY)

Get back to me and choose the shipping company you would like so that I will give you their information to send them the money.

Thanks And God Bless

Mr. Fakki Bello.

---

Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage.

---

Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.

Hello

I am khalid mahmoud, A Bahrain national I have been diagnosed with Oesophageal cancer.It has defiled all forms of medical treatment, and right now I have only about a few months to live.I am very rich,but was never generous, I have given most of my assets to my immediate family members. I have decided to give alms to charity organizations.I cannot do this myself anymore because of my health.I once asked members of my family to give some money to charity organizations,they refused and kept the money.I have a huge cash deposit of Eighteen Million dollars with a finance House abroad. I will want you to help me collect this deposit and dispatch it to charity organizations.You will take out 20% of this funds for your assistance.DO REPLY ME VIA MY PRIVATE EMAIL(kkkmahmoud@yahoo.gr)

So here we go, I got another proposition for serious money tonight. I now need to reply to earn 31 trillion Nigerian dollars (NGDs for those in the know) and wonderfully I now have the opportunity to earn.... um.... someone's entire bank account? 
I think

Really, as bad as the first one was, the second is plain sloppy. It might be the same person sending me this now though, so I have to STICK TO MY PLANS, and pretend I am out running down neighbors' pet dogs in my mad rush to send off money to nigeria via DHL.:D

(I know only 2 people read this, so I hope you appreciate that I write this here... so I don't have to seem like some chatty fuck when you visit.)

S. just rolls her eyes at me.

At least I have the cat. More letters to come :)

Thank you for the information Fakki, what fantastic news!!!

I'm going to have to call these places when they open later today and figure out which one will accept my american express. I've never even heard of DHL are they new?

Unfortunately Fakki, I might not be on email for a while, it seems my husband was looking at some rather unsavoury websights, and now our computer is putting rude images into emails I send out now. I can't see them but I've had several friends descibe them to me and they are incredibly rude. I hope you do not get one with this email.  Can you send along a phone number I can call in case my computer is gone for a couple of weeks while the repairman cleans off foul pictures? I'll be able to check tonight or tomorrow at a friends house for any updates and give you some kind of confirmation of payment with our shipper.

Yours always in Christ,

Ieatr Ocks

From: FAKKI BELLO

Sent: Tuesday, January 08, 2008 1:41 AM

To: ieatrocks@hotmail.com

Subject: Get back to me asap...

Hello,

Thanks for your utmost reply well we have credited your ATM CARD now and it will be delivered to your home address now but we will be needing the dispatching fee, see below for the shipping companies and their prices

Dhl: $750 (5 HOURS DELIVERY)

Fedex$:590 (15 HOURS DELIVERY)

Ups: $420 (TWO DAYS DELIVERY)

Get back to me and choose the shipping company you would like so that I will give you their information to send them the money.

Thanks And God Bless

Mr. Fakki Bello.

---

Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage.

http://www.japanesebugfights.com 

It's like trying to look away from a car wreck...

a car wreck with gigantic wasps fighting scorpions to the death!

oh my god,

I'm so sorry, what can I do?

I don’t want to mess up if the bank decides I haven't done all the paperwork right and lose my thirty trillion Nigerian Dollars. I checked up exchange on the amount of money, and while after exchange, and 20% dues to the church, it would not be enough to buy a private beach; I could at least buy a private photo of a beach and a delicious coffee to drink while I gaze upon said picture.

Please reply in all haste with further directions.
Your friend in Christ,

Ieatr Ocks
--------------------------------------------------
From: "DR IGNATIUS IMALA" <elvis@bombforme.net>
Sent: Sunday, January 06, 2008 3:40 PM
Subject: ATM CARD PAYMENT FOR FUND BENEFICIARIES
>                           ATM CARD PAYMENT FOR FUND BENEFICIARIES
>                                    INTERNATIONAL CREDIT SETTLEMENT
>                                  OFFICE OF THE DIRECTOR OFOPERATIONS
>                                         CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA.
>
>
> ATTENTION BENEFICIARY:
>
> THIS IS TO OFFICIALY INFORM YOU THAT WE HAVE VERIFIED YOUR CONTRACT
> /INHERITANCE FILE AND FOUND OUT THAT WHY YOU HAVE NOT RECEIVED YOUR
> PAYMENT IS BECAUSE YOU HAVE NOT FUFILLED THE OBLIGATIONS GIVEN TO YOU IN
> RESPECT OF YOUR CONTRACT / INHERITANCE PAYMENT.
>
> SECONDLY WE HAVE BEEN INFORMED THAT YOU ARE STILL DEALING WITH THE NONE
> OFFICIALS IN THE BANK YOUR ENTIRE ATTEMPT TO SECURE THE RELEASE OF THE
> FUND TO YOU. WE WISH TO ADVISE YOU THAT SUCH AN ILEGAL ACT LIKE THIS HAVE
> TO STOP IF YOU WISH TO RECEIVE YOUR PAYMENT SINCE WE HAVE DECIDED TO BRING
> A SOLUTION TO YOUR PROBLEM.
>
> RIGHT NOW WE HAVE ARRANGED YOUR PAYMENT THROUGH OUR SWIFT CARD PAYMENT
> CENTER ASIA PACIFIC, WHICH IS THE LATEST INSTRUCTION BY THE PRESIDENT
> CHIEF ALHAJI UMAR MUSA YAR-ADUA (GCFR FEDERAL REPUBLIC OF NIGERIA.
>
> THIS CARD CENTER WILL SEND YOU AN ATM CARD WHICH YOU WILL USE TO WITHDRAW
> YOUR MONEY IN ANY ATM MACHINE IN ANY PART OF THE WORLD, BUT THE MAXIMUM IS
> ONE THOUSAND FIVE DOLLARS PER DAY,
> SO IF YOU LIKE TO RECIEVE YOUR FUND THIS WAY PLEASE LET US KNOWS BY
> CONTACTING THE CARD PAYMENT CENTER AND ALSO SENDS THE FOLLOWING
> INFORMATION:
>
> 1. YOUR FULL NAME
> 2. PHONE AND FAX NUMBER,
> 3. ADDRESSES WERE YOU WANT THEM TO SEND THE ATM CARD
> 4. YOUR AGE AND CURRENT OCCUPATION
> 5. A COPY OF YOUR IDENTITY ATTACHED TO E-MAIL
>
> MR IGNATIUS IMALA
> INTEGRATED PAYMENT DEPARTMENT
> EMAIL: drignatius20007@yahoo.com
>
> THE ATM CARD PAYMENT CENTER HAS BEEN MANDATED TO ISSUE OUT $3,000,000.00
> AS PART PAYMENT FOR THIS FISCAL YEAR 2007.
>
> ALSO FOR YOUR INFORMATION YOU HAVE TO STOP ANY FURTHER COMMINUCATION WITH
> ANY OTHER PERSON(S) OR OFFICE(s).
>
> THIS IS TO AVOID ANY HITCHES IN FINALIZING YOUR PAYMENT.
> AS SOON AS YOU REPLY TO THIS IMPORTANT MESSAGE FOR FURTHER DIRECTION IN
> THIS REGARDS AND ALSO UPDATE ME ON ANY DEVELOPMENT FROM THE ABOVE
> MENTIONED OFFICE.
>
> NOTE: THAT BECAUSE OF IMPOSTORS, WE HEREBY ISSUED YOU OUR CODE OF CONDUCT,
> WHICH IS (811) SO YOU HAVE TO INDICATE THIS CODE WHEN CONTACTING THE CARD
> CENTER.
>
> PERSON IN CONTACT OF THE CARD CENTER.
> (Mr. Fakki Bello)
>
> CHIEF AUDITOR TO THE PRESIDENT
> FEDERAL REPUBLIC OF NIGERIA
> ATM CARD PAYMENT FOR FUND BENEFICIARIES
> EMAIL ADD: fakkibello20004@yahoo.com
>